Have you ever had a hobby or a passion that you’ve let lapse and wanted to get back into? I’ve just realised its super daunting.
It’s been around 8 months probably now since I did a dance class. It was a Contemporary class with a brilliant teacher after work one evening. It’s hard to find great evening classes as those aimed at ‘professionals’ or those who have studied dance are mostly during the day. It makes sense I guess. If your a ‘professional’ then you use your working day to hone your craft and prepare for performances and auditions. I envy the luxury of being able to do daytime classes as that would perhaps mean that you’re a full time dancer.
There are those few classes dotted around in the evenings that give me enough time to change and get to after work, but as always, they’re expensive.
Now I know, when I graduated I made the choice to go into the side of Dance that didn’t involve dancing. Mostly this was because of confidence and the cost of attending these classes. Since then I’ve managed to get myself a great job that is 9-5.30, 5 days a week and I guess, for all intents and purposes – ‘a normal job’.
This means I can’t do the daytime professional classes that places like Greenwich Dance offer and instead am hostage to expensive evening classes. But is that really what is stopping me? I don’t think so. Everyone knows it’s pretty expensive to take class in London, it is what it is. And of course there’s always the option of hiring my own studio space to move and play in but again, it all comes back round to that little thing called confidence.
It’s been 18 months since I graduated and 8 months since my last professional class. This is for a number of reasons including the fact that I moved house, but the reason that the length of time between now and that last class keeps getting bigger is a fear that what if I can’t dance anymore.
It sounds a bit dramatic, of course I can still dance. I know the technical terms I know how to pick up a phrase, but in terms of ability? I think I’m just petrified that I’ll turn up and realise that I’m not where I’m at anymore. This is inevitable of course. When you’re out of dance for that length of time of course muscles will tighten and stamina will reduce, but it’s having the confidence to take that step to remedying it and knowing it’s ok that I’m not where I was when I was a student studying technique everyday.
I’m not planning to head back into the studio for the purpose of gaining a prosperous dance career, I just miss what I love and the sooner I take the plunge the better.
Whose with me?