Adulting is hard.
In the past 12 months I became more adult than ever before, fleeing the nest and such. Now I pay actual bills, real life council tax and voted in Brexit.
But one of life’s harshest lessons is that all the glowing ideas we had about adult life are actually not true. In fact in the past year I think I’ve disproved everything I thought about adults as a child, and here’s a brief run down…
Adults aren’t scared of horror movies.
THIS IS THE UNTRUEST THING EVER.
No way. I still can’t hack them. Obviously you’ve got to laugh at Paranormal Activity, but when it comes to most films the laughs hide my tears.
Sleeping with the light on since 1993.
When you’re a grown up your cupboards will be permanently stocked with wonderful food.
I can honestly say that right now my cupboard amounts to some tinned pulses, microwave rice and some shallots. Not even real onions, flipping shallots.
I’m not even on a student budget anymore so I can’t exactly blame it on that. Just pure laziness really, because being a 23 year old adult I obviously have more important things to do.
Which brings me to my next point…
Food shopping is fun for adults.
Being dragged around Tesco as a child, eating the french stick out the trolley when my mum wasn’t looking was probably a low point for 10 year old Alice.
And to think that whole time I was under the illusion that the weekly shop is fun for adults? HELL NO. And carrying it home is even worse.
Don’t even get me started on putting it away.
One day, when i’m fully grown, I will enjoy a black coffee.
There are a small percentage of adults (all concentrated in East London) that will say yah cool yah black coffee yummy.
NO. Adults don’t enjoy black coffee with no sugar, its simply a necessity to function at times. Espresso’s are essential in the hangover survival kit but otherwise give me a cappuccino with 2 sugars thanks.
Grown ups are so lucky that they don’t have to wear school uniform everyday.
Blazers, ties and M & S shirts weren’t the most flattering garments but oh how I wish somebody would tell me what to wear everyday.
The joy I used to get on non-uniform day is certainly not something I experience now that EVERY day is non-uniform day.
Opening my wardrobe and staring blankly at it everyday at 7.30 am never gets easier.
There are plenty more where that came from, there will almost certainly be a part 2…